Pop Video Analysed: Nicole Scherzingers Boomerang
Nicole Scherzinger is a 'pop singer' who was in the 'Pussycat Dolls' and is also a judge on 'The X Factor'. And now we all know who Nicole Scherzinger is, let's analyse her completely mad new video, Boomerang.
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“What about, if we put a load of TVs on a wall,” pitched one production executive, a few weeks ago. “Only in the shape of a crucifix.” And lo, it was done, and lo, the video for Boomerang by Nicole Scherzinger from off of the Pussycat Dolls doth kick off with some Jesus imagery.
Remember in The X Factor final when Nicole was performing with Jahmene and her mic cut out? Here’s the exact moment that she spotted the sound man again.
“What about,” that same production exec is now saying, after a refreshing visit to the bathroom, “if we make it look ‘a bit 3D’? Like, in films?” And lo, it was done, and lo, the video for Boomerang by Nicole Scherzinger from off of the Pussycat Dolls had a section that did look a bit 3D, like in films.
“What I do have are a very particular set of skills,” Nicole is saying, “skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you [DOWNLOAD MY SINGLE ON iTUNES] now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
“What if,” the production executive is saying. He is on a roll, now. “What if we summon an entire army of Nicole Scherzingers.” And lo, &c., &c.
One of the Nicole clones is throwing some serious ‘Mum dancing’ shapes at this point, by the way.
[BONUS POINTS: Look how mad Nicole’s shoes are. Her shoes are literally mad.]
Look everyone, it’s the Human Centipede sequel nobody asked for.
“WHAT IF,” says that studio executive, “WHAT IF WE TURN HER INTO AN ANGEL, AND NICOLE’S WINGS ARE MADE OUT OF OTHER NICOLES?” There is a pause. “You’re fired, Lance,” someone says. “You’re fired. Get out.”
If Nicole’s PR isn’t sending around Scherzinger kaleidoscopes to help promote this thing then fire that PR as well.
At this point Nicole turns up with some sort of back tattoo made out of fluorescent office lights. “WANT ONE,” Harry Styles is saying, pawing at the screen. “HARRY WANT LIGHT TATTOO.” Harry can’t have light tattoo. Stop getting tattooed, Harry.
It all goes a bit slow-mo here which, after the frenetic first few minutes, comes as blessed relief to your heatworld screenshotter. And then the video ends. We will look back on this video in ten years and go ‘that was all a bit bonkers, wasn’t it?’ Actually, we might start doing that now. Bit bonkers, isn’t it?
Via: Pop Video Analysed: Nicole Scherzingers Boomerang
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